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| Lobola cows no longer a symbol of lobola due to money preferences. |
Lobolo
is a custom folowed by almost all cultures. It is translated “bride price”
because the man pays his fiancee’s family
for her hand in marriage. The tradition is with an intention to bring
the two families together, adopting joint respect, and indicating that the man
is capable of supporting his wife financially. These days many peole believe
that the bride’s family use it as a way to drain money out of the groom, for
the family to step up in life using their daughter. It is unfortunate when the couple
is ready for commitment but there is a
financial barrier on their way to a sweet holy matrimony. Men nowadays prefer
investing their money elsewhere, to receive significant financial returns. If a
man is willing to pay R1000 000 for a car but complains about a bride price of
R50 000, does it mean man value property than love? Or bride’s families
should not put too much value on their daughters as it does not sit well to the
man who loves their daughter?
Lobola is a good waty of showing that you really love a women that you pay hey parents thanking them for grooming her but the youth are confusing it with buying Lol they think since you pay then you bought her meaning you can treat her noma kanjani
ReplyDeleteLobola is about building relatives, should not be used to build huge amount of income to the inlaws
ReplyDeleteIndeed that is the whole point of the custom- building relations
DeleteThat is true Nhlanhla, the way lobola is labelled as a "bride price" makes some men think that the bride is some sort of property they can control.
ReplyDeleteI have nothing against lobolo bt I just don't understand why should you make someone pay you inorder 4 u 2 give away ur daughter? Just asking
ReplyDeleteI think it is only fair that as a parent you are left with some comfort. It is never easy losing a child. How much more a daughter to a stranger who claims to have love for her?
DeletePerhaps people who still practice this tradition should remember its essence. It’s not about selling your daughter off or buying a wife, it is instead a marriage of two families bound together by compromise, respect and unity.on the note of women felt owned or propertised lol it is because at first you were sold imagine a price tag of a million, and that's why some men kill their wives when found cheating it is such man remembers his money.
ReplyDeleteA man who will kill or attempt murder just because he paid a fat amount of lobola is completely 'out of it'. That is just an outrageous behaviour. The whole point is to bring two families together. Price should not matter. It is sad though when a couple totally can't afford the price set by the bride's family. If the wife cheats, it does not put an end to the relationship between the two families, divorce or no divorce the families are tied together for life. Though the relations change, there is no end once they are formed. Somehow it is still a "till death do us apart" scenario, even after divorce. I'm not married but I'd like to look at it from that angle. A wife is only human, she'll do as human. But those are just in-marriage politics. As a guy, say you refuse to pay R50 000 for lobola but you are willing to buy that R500 000 sport on wheels, what does it say about how you value your future with your fiancee? I mean, you do not complain and destroy the car when it gives you problems but you do when the wife does. Not that I'm saying the car and wife are comparable... I just feel that marriage is much more worth the fat amounth. As much as it is a man's pride to be on expensive wheels, isn't it worth it to be on a marriage with a "golden wife" lol.
ReplyDelete